R.I.P.D.

I wanted to like “R.I.P.D.”  I really did.  The first trailer was lack-luster, sure.  The only thought I took from it was “This is Men In Black with ghosts,” and I knew I was right, but I hoped they could create a good movie from that formula.  The next couple of trailers built upon my hopes.  They showed a world that, yes, was almost the exact same as M.I.B. except with ghosts, but was fun and engaging and imaginative.  Unfortunately, “R.I.P.D.” is at best forgettable and at worst illogical.

Part of the appeal for this movie is the cast.  Jeff Bridges, Ryan Reynolds, and Mary-Louis Parker?  Sign me up.  Add Kevin Bacon to the mix?  I have to go.  But the problem with this movie isn’t the cast, the problem is the script.  I didn’t actually feel very many emotions that are supposed to be important for the film.

The emotional impact of the movie hinges on Nick (Ryan Reynolds) taking gold from a drug bust and burying it in his backyard.  Nick is supposed to be a good cop who only took the gold to make his life…easier (?) for him and his wife.  But, isn’t that how most good cops turn bad?  Anyway, he regrets taking it and tells his partner they should turn it in.  His partner, Hayes (Kevin Bacon), has a better idea than turning it in, he’ll just kill Nick and be done with it.  Unfortunately this is predictable, even though the filmmakers didn’t really give anything away, I just figured it would happen.  This leads to Nick becoming a part of the Rest In Peace Department because he is one of the best policemen in Boston…which I never saw, but I’ll accept. 

That’s all well and good, but I have a question.  Now, I’m dipping into spoilers (no surprise), but stick with me.  Hayes is an evil spirit that is trying to piece together a golden statue that will allow the dead to come back to the earth.  Now, the gold pieces they picked up from the drug bust are part of this statue.  Why on Earth would Hayes give Nick any of this gold?  Nick obviously didn’t want it, and I’m assuming Hayes talked him into it at the bust, why wouldn’t Hayes just take the gold?  Was he afraid that Nick would tell?  Did he push the gold on him so he wouldn’t be able to?  I can see that, I guess.

I think what would make this movie better is if we actually saw this drug bust where they found the gold.  With this scene we can set up Nick as a great policeman who doesn’t want the gold, but is talked into it.  Then later when his wife learns about the gold and becomes angry that her husband was a crooked cop we would feel properly hurt that his reputation is despoiled.  The way it is I didn’t really care.

Later, Nick and Roy (Jeff Bridges) find a ghost who has pieces of gold very similar to the gold Nick buried behind his house.  They turn the gold into the evidence chamber at the R.I.P.D. and learn that they make a statue that allows the dead to come back.  The bad guys need all of the pieces to complete the statue, but instead of hiding the gold somewhere else or being extra careful that the ghosts would try to steal the gold, the R.I.P.D. don’t do anything.  In a twist that doesn’t surprise, Hayes allows himself to be caught so he can get the rest of the gold from R.I.P.D.  Dumb.

Ultimately, the movie disappoints.  I wanted to like it, but glaring holes in the plot raise too many questions.  One that bothered me through the whole movie was the secrecy conundrum.  Men In Black succeeds as a fake secret bureau because they have a plan to keep themselves secret.  The world would go crazy if they learned that aliens live among us.  In a similar situation, the world would go crazy if they learned about evil spirits that refuse to die wreaking havoc in our everyday lives.  M.I.B. takes care to erase the memories of anyone who sees an alien or witnesses the agents of M.I.B. taking care of an alien threat.  R.I.P.D. on the other hand will break windows, knock pieces off of buildings, and generally destroy things in front of people, but take no care to retain their secrecy.  Of course, I’m judging this from their first case as their antics are soon seen on TV during the finale, but how can they stay secret with that laissez faire attitude toward destruction?  The broken windows and cat walks would be noticed by somebody, like maybe the people who fix said things.  How do they explain that?  The movie doesn’t explain it at all, which has caused me hours of irritation.  If you want to watch a mildly entertaining movie with some decent jokes, check this out.  If you like Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges, check this out.  If you want an enjoyable movie about stopping the destruction of the world from something not human, check out  Men In Black.

2.5/5