Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Growing up, we were always told about the story of Hansel and Gretel, a brother and sister who encounter a witch in a candy cottage and escape, but they never told us what happened after.  Now we know they become witch hunters, crossing the country saving towns from witches and in the process becoming famous.  Now they are hired to seek out a witch who’s been kidnapping the children of a small town.  What they stumble upon is far worse than they expected, and a link to their past that sheds light on their mysterious life.

Expectations were low when I popped in “Hansel and Gretel”.  The trailers didn’t grab my attention although I must admit I was interested in the idea of Hansel and Gretel growing up.  Now that I’ve finally seen it, I don’t know what took me so long.  “Hansel and Gretel” isn’t an Academy Award level movie that leaves you in awe of the art form, but it is just as good.  This is a movie that will make you forget about your problems for an hour and a half while you watch an awesome brother/sister duo beat the ever living crap out of witches.  This is a kind of movie that sticks around in my Blu-Ray player just because of the fun I have watching it.  The special effects are great, with fight scenes that are shot with a gritty action that keeps the eye glued to the screen and frightening witches with many startling designs.   I love how the witches in this movie aren’t all archetypal witches.  Some have horns, some have grotesque bodies, and some have glowing eyes.  I have never seen witches like this, but they still feel like witches which is great design work (I watch enough Face Off to know this). 

Most of the weak points in this story can be looked over because this movie doesn’t aspire to be greater, it knows what it is, but one thing I couldn’t overlook was the character of Edward.  I liked him as a character.  I thought they did a good job of creating a troll that was on one hand frightening and on the other sympathetic.  What I didn’t like was his place in the story.  He started as the servant for the evil witches, but when he stumbles upon Gretel being beaten in the woods he turns to her side.  I think it was because of how he’s treated by the evil witches, but the story wasn’t enforced enough for those beats to really mean anything.

I’ve already praised the design of the witches, but I have to applaud the whole design department on this movie.  Not only were the witches great, but the candy cottage where Hansel and Gretel’s tale started was fantastically imagined, and the weapons.  Oh, let’s talk about the weapons in this movie.  They were so well thought out and seeped with this cool steam punk awesomeness.  I know I’m not using professional vocabulary here, but come on.  Who wouldn’t like to have those guns and crossbows? 

“Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” is a movie you can watch over and over and still laugh and enjoy the sequences.  It reminds me of, dare I say it, a good Van Helsing.  When I was a kid I was amazed with its steam-punkiness and the idea of this monster hunter.  I admit that movie isn’t that good at all in retrospect, but “Hansel and Gretel” gave me the same thrill, but still held itself together as a film, which I really like.  I definitely suggest this film if you like action and comedy and have a soul. 

4/5 stars.

Now that Game of Thrones is over for this season, what will I do with my Mondays?  Comment with any ideas.

Also, I promise to come up with a better rating system.